Who the Fuck is Robert Frost: I am Briefly Engaged in Conversation on a Bus

By: Jacob Lewis

Who the Fuck is Robert Frost? I don’t know and this story isn’t going to tell you. However, the line is tangentially related to a recent experience. Somebody asked me on the bus a few weeks ago what my favorite song lyric was. I was caught off guard by this. I didn’t know this woman and wasn’t involved in her conversation with her group of friends.

Immediately, I got the distinct feeling that she was asking me the question, not because she cared what I had to say, but because she wanted to show her friends that she was the kind of person who would ask a random stranger on the bus. Too surprised by the question, I couldn’t prepare my preferred response to someone interrupting the solitude of my morning commute (screaming at the top of my lungs and biting their ears off). I decided to just spout out the first thing that came to my mind.

“You can’t expect a Demigod to beat a Decapod.”

The woman looked at me for a moment and said, “what song is that from?” I told her it was from a Robert Frost poem (its not, its from Moana, its sung by a giant crab).

She said, “oh…it was supposed to be a song lyric.”

I responded, “I don’t listen to music, just Robert Frost poems.”

She said, “okay” and turned back to her friends.

To be fair, this isn’t me trying to be arrogant (“how uncouth, this street wretch doesn’t know of the works of Robert Frost”). I barely know who Robert Frost is. I know he was an American poet who wrote that one poem about snow that was also supposed to be about death. However, even that last sentence was 50% guesswork and 50% of stuff I remember from an episode of the Sopranos.  This is why I generally don’t bring up Robert Frost in conversations.

That being said, my only wish today is that this woman doesn’t hold to the same principles and at some point in her life someone brings up Robert Frost in a conversation, and she references this line. Then, after everyone finishes laughing at her, she’s eaten by a pack of dogs. Alternatively, the people in the group nod in agreement, because they also don’t know who the fuck Robert Frost is, and then she’s eaten by a pack of dogs.

Or maybe she could just get eaten by a pack of dogs. I don’t really need her to be humiliated, just eaten. Also, strangely enough, I’ve decided that song lyric just might actually be my favorite. Not even Tupac could rhyme Demigod with Decapod in a lyric.

Full disclosure, I barely know who Tupac is either.

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