Google Sucks at Wizardry

By: Jacob Lewis

And now, a brief scene from my home life.

BEGIN SCENE from Last Night

[Jacob and Sara are sitting in their living room. Sara is watching TV on the couch. Jacob is using his phone to read random Harry Potter posts on the internet]

[Jacob suddenly perks up]

Jacob: “Wow!”

[Jacob activates the voice assistant on his phone]

Jacob: “Ok Google….Lumos”

[The Phone camera light turns on]

Jacob: “Nox”

[The Camera light turns off]

Jacob: “Lumos!”

[The Camera Light turns on]

Jacob: “Sara! I found this Harry Potter thing on Android!”

Sara: “Can you get the light out of my eyes now.”

Jacob: “When you say the spell for light the phone…”

Sara: “I know…I don’t care.”

[Sara returns to watching TV]


Jacob: [Whispering] “Ok Google…. Avada Kedavra”

[Turn to Sara]



Jacob: “Fuck you google”


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