The Dark Truth Behind the Princess and the Frog

By: Jacob Lewis

One of the more endearing subplots of Disney’s The Princess and The Frog has to do with Ray, the bayou firefly, and his love for Evangeline, a star in the night sky that he perceives as the most beautiful firefly ever. Ray talks to her every night, even though she never responds, and proclaims his undying love for her. At the end of the movie, Ray is killed by the Shadow Man while trying to save his friends from some shadow demons. During Ray’s funeral, the mourners look up in the sky and see a new second star sitting beside Evangeline.

Awh, in death he is united with his love.

However, for me, this feel good moment was interrupted almost immediately by the following thoughts.

We perceive certain stars to be near each other only because our perspective is limited to our single viewpoint on the planet Earth. In reality these same stellar neighbors may actually be light years apart. In the end of the movie we may see two stellar lovers in a cosmic embrace, from Ray’s perspective he may have awoken in his new form to find himself alone in the black void of space, possibly millions of light years away from his Evangeline, who is no longer recognizable in the night sky. What we see as a happy ending might actually be a lonely hell for Ray that spans billions of years.

Let’s ignore the above for a moment and assume that Ray’s new cosmic presence allows him to feel closer to Evangeline in the night sky. However, we can’t forget, or at least I can’t forget – you can go ahead and try, that a star’s light might take millions of years to reach earth. Its very possible that the light Ray has been proclaiming his love to for all these weeks of his existence (he is a firefly after all) was generated by a star that has been dead since the Cretaceous period. Ray may have evolved into a new state of cosmic awareness only to look towards his love and be forced to gaze upon the remnants of her lifeless stellar core, or a swirling black hole where she once stood.

Put another way, imagine the big “mother in a chair” reveal at the end of Psycho, but on a cosmic level. Ray would be forced to live out the remainder of his billions of years gazing upon the black gravity well that used to be his true love.

Okay, again, let’s ignore even that dreary conclusion and assume that Evangeline is still alive, and somehow has the consciousness to recognize Ray’s love. They both live happily ever after. Right? Right! Well, why would she care what this bug thinks? She’s a star. She’s been alive for billions of years. She’s watched the rise and fall of the cosmos. Yet, some insect on a planet millions of light years away loves her for a couple weeks (keeping in mind that all of human history to a Star would appear as a blink of an eye) and boom, he gets a spot right next to her. How is that fair? This is like a man on a bus yelling out that some girl’s ass looks hot in shorts, getting run over by a pickup truck, and waking up as the same girl’s roommate.

It’s even bad from Ray’s perspective. That dumb bug, even up until the very end of his short pointless life, still thought that Evangeline was a firefly. Imagine how he feels after dying, ascending to the cosmos and learning that his true love is actually an almost inconceivably immense giant ball of gas. Nobody is going to be happy in this relationship.

Don’t let these dark thoughts drag the movie down though. It also has a witch doctor getting dragged into a demon dimension (as outlined here) by zombified severed heads and voodoo dolls and

…wait, bad example.

It also has a crocodile that wants to play Jazz. Hear that everyone! This silly guy wants to play the trumpet on a stage, but he can’t because he’s a crocodile, which is an animal you usually don’t see wanting to do such things.

Oh what light hearted fun.

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