A 4 Year Old Mic Drop

By: Jacob Lewis

The below was an exchange with Juliet, my youngest genetic spawn:

We open on a fine Saturday morning in the children’s room.

Juliet: “Where’s my Bernstein Bears Book”

The lack of punctuation, specifically a question mark, in the above sentence is not an error. While this comment seems to be a question, implying that she was previously looking for the book, but could not find it and now needed help, it is, in fact, an order. Such as when an overweight roman emperor, sitting atop an ornate lounging couch, claps his hands and yells to his servants “where is my wine and vomit urn.”

Sara: “Its there, on top of your shelf. ”

Sara points to a stack of about 30 various children’ books on top of Juliet’s bedside shelf. The Bernstein Bears book is conveniently located at the bottom.

Juliet: “Ok”

Juliet moves towards the stack with a determined, almost terminator-esque, gate. Sara notices this…as do I.

Sara/Jacob: “You need to move the books on top before you can get to it!”

Juliet, without pause, grabs the bottom book and pulls it out. The stack immediately collapses. Half the books fall behind the shelf, while the others cover the ground at her feet.

[brief pause as the books finish toppling to the ground]

Juliet: “That’s how I do it”

While I don’t think i can truly capture the defiant tone of that final comment,the closest I can get is to describe it as the 4¬†year old equivalent of a movie hero doing a slow motion walk away from a building as it explodes, Just like the hero, Juliet walked away, and never looked back at the destruction she wrought..

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